Moving On

After a great talk with a good friend, I've come to a realization: I need to let go and move on when others around me have. A scary thought came to me during this conversation, and that was if I react this way to friends moving on, how will I deal with a death in my family. I realized that I don't want to be the kind of person who just loses themselves in the past. I don't want to see my world fall apart because I don't know how to restructure it when change comes. I didn't really think that I had such a rigid side in my life. My heart does feel lighter now than it has been in the past few weeks. I have always been able to entertain myself in life, but at the same time, it's nice to have other people around.

At times I've felt like others have left me behind, but this friend told me something that I hadn't thought of before... when others "move ahead," it's where they need to be. I'm exactly where I need to be. Exactly where I need to be. Man, I can't even remember when the last time was that I read my patriarchial blessing. Strange that I would even think of that at a time like this.

Well, in the end, my friend is right... I need to acknowledge the change in other's lives as well as my own and respect that. I need to make more of an effort to see the change as well. Moving on sucks and will be difficult for me for a long time, but the other option I have is to die in the past. Well, there are more options than that, but I don't really want them... in fact, I don't even like the alternative I gave myself. Meh... back to work now.