Moving Along

Well, life seems to have thrown my car into the fast lane while at the same time things seem to be going at a relatively mellow pace with plenty of time left to me. Time... that seems to be a snake that hides in the bushes. I know it will catch up to me one day and before I know it, I'll be done with my time here on this island. Time is both an ally and an enemy to me presently. Why? Well, I've met someone again. Things are different this time around, thank goodness, and frankly, I don't want to leave this relationship. Yet, I must move on with my life. Though my entire being wants to hold off on making future plans for myself in order to see where my new relationship will go without hinderances or impending finish dates, I must move on and plan things out as best as I can. I know that I must continue on with planning my life out. I want to go teach English in Japan. I want to attain my master's degree. I've had so many people tell me to go and be selfish now because I won't be able to once I'm married and I have children. Well, I am trying to work on that much of my life, the planning things out for my life part. I am not dissatisfied with where my life is currently or where I will be going with it, but I do have unmet wants.

I have found a master's program in a field that I've been wanting to study for a while now. I mean, I've looked for a couple of years to find this program. It feels like something I should pursue. *sighs* There seems to be a lot of options coming up in my life, which is great to have, but I have usually been the kind of person who set out on a specific path for myself, and every few years planned out the next few years and followed that plan. That method has gotten me through 22 years of life just fine. Granted, I tried to consult the Big Man in my plans to see if I was doing something good in His eyes. I've been finding some shallow things about my life that could use overhauls, so I've been trying to overhaul those areas.

I keep wondering about selfishness though. I'd like to think that so far I've been balanced in my level of selfishness in life. I'd like to think that I've been able to experience give and take in the wants that I have had, but for some reason, I don't know if I should be selfish in the next few years of my life. It just doesn't seem right to me to be that way. I mean, I'm not perfect by any means, but at the same time, I am doing all that I can to be as perfect and as good as I can be. That doesn't sound right... um, I'm just trying to be the best that I can be, and selfishness does not seem to be a quality that I want to work more on. I know that I need to be sure to take care of myself, but at the same time, there are people around me who are telling me to be selfish and not put things on hold for anything.

All I know right now is that my feet are moving, but I have no clue where they are going to lead me.