When Did I Fall?

Two things are offering me comfort right now: two of my closest friends and the fact that he is as sweet as ever. Though a couple of days ago, I was panicked beyond all belief because of silly things like his age and wanting nothing to do with a long distance relationship. I feel like such a nerd-bomber sometimes when it comes to this boy; he's got me all confused about life and where my true heart lies (which I personally think he hid on purpose ^_^). After chatting with two of my closest friends, Sarah and Katie-Beth, I realized that I had been nothing but a silly git worrying about the tiniest things I possibly could. Both of these ladies are amazing and I trust their judgments, especially when it comes to relationships. The distance is really difficult for me, and I can't imagine how he's taking it. Yesterday, I was up late waiting for him to call me, which doesn't work because he's already two hours ahead of me, when I almost gave up on him. As I was reading my scriptures before bed, he called finally. And we chatted for over an hour, mostly about politics somehow, but we still chatted.

The point of this post is to explore when I fell, well.... I have no answer. Sometimes I feel like I fell when I first got back here and heard his voice for the first time in almost a week on New Years. Others, I think that maybe it happened a week or so ago as I was keeping in fairly regular contact with him and laughing. What frightens me is the implications of having a heart lost to someone that I won't see again until June, and that I'd be stuck in it on my own. Reason, aka Sarah, tells me constantly that it'd never be the case between us. She sees him as already fallen, but waiting for something from me. *sighs* The weight of something bigger than me is not an easy heft, nor is it one that I've ever tried to carry in my life. I can see myself married to this guy, but at the same time, I've only known him since last April. What causes me to pull even harder on the reins is the fact that we only dated for a week and a half before I returned to school. Are these things that a deep relationship can have a foundation laid on???

When did I fall? Longer ago than I ever realized.