The Waiting Game

So... chalk up one negative point toward my impatience. After chatting online with a friend of mine here at school, I realized how normal it is to sit and wait and hope for someone you hold special to get online or to call you when it's their turn. If only I knew the intrinsic worth of patience and could internalize that knowledge, this would be so much easier.

Again, a little background on my life, is that when I was home in Washington state for Christmas, I ended up dating a friend of mine from my singles branch back home. Things went better than I thought they would, and we got really close in a week and a half. But as all things must, our time together ended for I had to return to school a week sooner than most people I know because of my position as an RA. For my responsibilities and scholarship, I came back. That first week back was one of the toughest of my life. I had one person here who I hung out with while a good majority of my friends were still at their various homes. I had no one to take care of me while I was really sick (for I was truly sick). And nothing could occupy my mind more long before I began to think of this person. Once I began thinking about him, I slipped a little bit at a time into a temporary depression.

Come New Year's Eve, and my time completely by myself the entire day, I was ready to throw in the towel and not get out of bed for the next two days because I had them off from work. Well, in spite of my studies at school, which have helped me to realize that I wear rose-colored glasses in all aspects of my life, I felt so relieved to finally hear his voice. It had been six days since I had heard from him... and I'm sure some one is thinking... ".. what's her deal? It was only six days." I'm sure someone is thinking that because I know I would have. Until now, I never understood the waiting and hoping aspect of relationships. The constant desire to have the person whom you're attracted to be close by as often as possible. Well... we have 2,500 miles plus separating us, and it has been quite an experience for me.

In the first place, I never thought that I'd even be in the kind of relationship that we have. It's still bordering on being super close friends, and we were never at the boyfriend/girlfriend part of dating anyway... however, we both know that it would have happened if I stayed home. The distance is forcing us to become better friends in spite of the attraction between us. I do like him and would like to explore our relationship further, but I just continue to feel a force keeping, urging me to stay here.

Besides, we can't talk all the time right? We'd run out of things to talk about..... wouldn't we?